I was having a conversation with one of my best friends the other day. We were just plonked in the middle of our school's common room, sprawled across one of the few black couches having multiple conversations about absolutely nothing.
Then I mentioned this text post that I had seen that said "right now your future husband is out there just doing things". It doesn't sound super inspirational and I'm sure it's just meant to be super lovey-dovey and mushy, meant for those who spend their young adult lives planning their weddings.
Instead of having conversations about what type of lace our wedding gowns will be made out of, we, like the super intellectual humans that we are, started to talk about how what college you decide to go to (or get in to) largely dictates the rest of your life.
This is coming for the girl, who, despite spending a large majority of her life studying her butt off, believes that the leaving cert is not the be all and end all.
But just think about it for a second. Depending on what college you decide to go to, or not to go too; every other decision leads on from that one. Each different road leads you to a different job, a different house, a different guy (or girl) and basically whether you live a fulfilling life or not.
I always play the 'what if' game in my head. Something that I would not recommend as it will drive you crazy for no end result; because you can't turn back time. I think about all the things that I would be doing or wouldn't be doing if I still had certain people in my life.
I sometimes even find myself thinking "I wonder if I would own these exact pair of jeans if ----- had/hadn't happened". It's mind boggling really. Because the answer is probably no. Every little decision you make will impact your life path in one way or another.
No wonder it takes me so long to pick what ice cream what I want.
Okay, so maybe my ice cream preferences may not be the all and end all of my life. But what about how well I do in my leaving cert? Or what college I pick?
I know it would completely defeat the purpose of you know, living life, but I would kind of like a detailed map of my life so I can decide what decisions lead where. So I can pick the one where I'm happy, healthy and maybe even the won where I win the lottery?
It's just scary to think... I'm 17 - and depending on how I fill out my CAO form, that will dictate the rest of my life. Even if I turn around in 5 years and decide to start over, you can't take your past decisions back.
*shivers from the pressure*