As a Pisces & being born into a family of creatives, I have always thought of myself as a generally creative person. Not in the stereotypical 'arty' sense as I literally can't draw anything more complex than a doodle heart; but I love to read, write and create short stories and videos. A number of years ago, I channeled these passions into this blog and my YouTube channel.
I didn't even think about it, it just sort of happened.
People ask me all the time "why did you start?", "do you get hate for it?" or "how can I get the confidence to do it?". I clearly started this whole thing before all the overthinking stuff started up. Now (as you may have noticed from the lack of content), I have become a lot more critically aware of what people think of me and of what I do.
Pursuing dreams in creative fields is a decision that is almost guranteed to garner you some hate or jealousy. Whether you want to be a singer, an author or actor; they all have the same stigma attached to them. It's just one of those things. The people who make it in those fields tend to be the ones who didn't have friends in school, or who were put down again and again; because that's just how it is in this industry.
Obviously I haven't "made it" nor am I heading for the Hollywood hills, but I think that my analysis isn't too far off base. Even from my own little experiences, just starting in the world of creativity, it's hard not to feel the judgement. Doing what I do, I have left myself open for people to judge me; for people to form their own opinions of me. The most common is probably that I am above myself.. or that I think I am 'all that'. Trust me when I say, that's not an accurate depiction of me at all.
Yes, I have the confidence to talk to large groups of people, and to put videos of myself on the internet and post selfies. But I am still a human being. Just a 17 year old girl trying to figure what this big bad world is all about.
This is not a pity post or anything like that. I just wanted to say to all the girls (and guys) that watch me or read my posts; yes, it is hard and yes you will get hate and judgement from those around you, and from those across the world. But if you want to be creative and channel your expression through the amazing medium of the internet. DO IT.
Stay true to yourself, your goals and your aspirations. It's YOUR life and those who try to hold you back aren't worth your time. I'm still learning all of this for myself and I'm going to try my best to 'practice what I preach'.
Because I'm not a b**tch or a snobby little princess. I'm just me, and you're just you. We're just trying to figure out how to express ourselves and that's completely okay.