I say that 'hello' kind of tentatively as I'm beginning to think that I have been gone so long that there will no longer be anyone to read my ramblings. But if you do happen to still be here and happen to be remotely interested in what I have to say - I raise a glass of champagne in your honor. (With the college budget though it may not be of the finest quality)
So.. where have I been? I guess it's fitting that my last post was focused on pre-conceptions; about how I wanted a fresh start in college without the looming 'blogger' stereotype above me. Oddly though that's only part of the reason that I have abandoned you all. I mean it's still true; whenever it comes up that I have a blog or, god forbid, a YouTube, I practically run in the opposite direction.
However, the main reason is not that I'm too busy with my schedule, nor am I completely buried in books. It's just the simple reason that I've been having so much fun.
Because after all of these years of waiting, all those hours of study and all the sleep I lost fretting over this dream of mine... it all came true. You would think that in my years of dreaming, of scheming even, that the real event would come as a bit of a let down. But it has actually transformed into something so much better than I could have imagined.
I'm cringing at myself as I write this as I don't want to be the poster child for 'your dreams can come true' etc - but damn it I'm happy and I felt the need to tell you.
For a multitude of reasons, the start of this year was one of the darkest periods of my life and I'm sorry but I feel the need to revel in my own happiness for a minute.
So why am I telling you this? Well, simply because I know that some of my readers (if you have had the patience to hang around) are going through the same hell that the Irish Education system insists on imposing upon us. An unfair world of points, CAO forms and tears.
But it does get better. A lot better. So much better than you can even wrap your head around right now. (Possibly because it is currently being fried by honors math; in which case, I feel for you deeply)
You will find yourself seperated from toxic people, from the toxic Exam pressure and free to breath the fresh opportunity filled air, surrounded by like minded people.
My final words have to be dedicated to my Mom, because, as I rocked back and forth in my room like a psychopath, as I ugly cried over the mess I thought my life had become, even as I behaved like a world class brat - you told me it would get better. You told me that in a years time I would be sitting in a classy bar, raising a glass of champagne with my friends... And although we haven't pooled quite enough money together for the champagne; you were right.
Call it luck, call it hard work - I don't really care - just know I'm doing better than I ever was. And that feels so god damn good to say.